The Fairest of Them All

My dad (yeah, I know, I talk about him a lot) says, fashion is the biggest form of peer pressure. A lot of the things people do, we do not because we like it but because its the way we fit in.
My first example is clothes. I had never liked those party dress things or flared feminine ankle socks. I admired the ankle socks athletes wore and jeans and t-shirts with random writings. But I still wore dresses (very rarely though) just so I wouldn’t feel left out. This one new years’ eve, me and my best friend were supposed to meet and they were all dolled up in their dresses and as usual, I was in a t-shirt and jeans sooo, I ran off n went to hang with the boys. Haha. No matter how comfortable I felt in those clothes, I just didn’t fit in when everybody was in a dress and heels.
My second example is make-up. I’ve loved make up since I was a child. I’d sit and paint my face n the very few times I wore it to primary school, I know my parents were sceptical about it. Explains why it went missing right after. LOL. They say they wanted me to comfortable in my own skin. Comfortable, I am. I just had fun playing with make-up, still do. My parents still say to me, “you don’t need that stuff” every time I sit and paint my face lol. Not that I feel ugly without it, I just like it. I don’t make it a ‘need’, I keep it a ‘want’. That, to my father, is doing it for the right reasons.
There are a lot of items of clothing that will look nice on certain people ONLY. For example, I don’t think you’ve ever seen Ellen DeGeneres up against Beyonce under ‘who wore it best’. Not because she’s gay, but because Ellen hasn’t fallen victim to the peer pressure that is fashion. I mean, do we all have to have 18 inch brazillian hair and shimmery dresses to feel like we belong in a club? Should we all get the latest phones so people think we’re cool? Worse still, should we do things that we really have no business doing to get those things? When you look at someone and envy them, you should wonder what it is you really envy. The fact that they have them? How they got them? The ‘class’ you think those things put them in? The kind of people they attract?
You can finally get all those things but there you are still feeling uncomfortable cause it really itches, your foundation makes your face shine, your feet are too sore and you can’t dance, you’re with guys you’d rather not be seen with in public… Makes you wonder how people do it all the time hey? They can manage to do it because they like it. If they did it for reasons other than fitting in, they’ll enjoy it because they decided to do it on their own.
I’m not saying that every girl in Brazilian hair and shimmery dresses does outrageous things or should be feeling bad about themselves or feel that I’m classing them all into a group or whatever. But! The girls who are so desperate for those things, should be desperate for the right reasons. Don’t go doing outrageous things out of your moral lines and out of your budget to hear the words, ‘you look like Beyonce’. If you want to rock 18 inch Brazilian hair, I suggest you get it the right way: for the fortunate, ask your parents or siblings; SAVE or get a job and no, that job should not be done on your back or on your knees. Have a great week. 🙂 thanks for reading.


Getting On Your Knees

I think I was an irritating kid. I asked a whoooole lot of questions all the time and a lot of the time, my dad said stuff just to shut me up, you know. “Why is the sky blue?” “Because blue is God’s favourite colour.” LOL. It worked. But one day, I asked him why we pray and this is one answer I’m certain was not to shut me up cause year by year, it makes more sense.

He told me that people find comfort in being able to share their problems or sorrows with someone. Like confessions in the catholic church almost. Do you really want someone to know you killed someone? Call it closure maybe? We need to tell someone what’s going on because we can really only hold so much pressure before we crack. It happens everyday, you know, they say a problem shared is a problem solved. So when you get cheated on, you’ll share with a friend, cry if you have to. It feels better that you have an ear. Also, everybody needs a sense of belief to keep us on the right track or to preserve tradition. I’ll give an example of Christianity because its what I know. The ten commandments are guidelines to a morally upright way of life.

If you were a good person in your lifetime… You didn’t steal, kill, commit adultery, you respected your parents n all that, or if u did but prayed for forgiveness (with the intention of never doing it again), regardless whether you pray to Allah or in the name of Jesus… There should be a heaven for you, right? Because the thing is, nobody is without sin and even the staunch Christians and Muslims sin in their extreme ways of life. The religious extremists. Talking, suicide bombers and people who still feel the need to class themselves. We’ll agree that there should be a heaven for the few who do good but we’ll never really know what the right religion was or what the holy books were actually trying to say. Most of all, we’ll never know what the people we think to be most holy really do out of our line of vision.

To a lot of people, the holy books are full of metaphors. The forbidden fruit for sex, food for the word of God, shepherds for traditional leaders… There are a lot of lessons to be learnt in the bible but then its a bit too easy to misinterpret. So the question stands, why do you pray? So that you aren’t the one to burn if God really exists? So that you can be invincible and nothing harms you cause angels are around you? So that all your dreams and wishes come true? Or for closure? I think my father was right. But no matter what reasons you have for praying, it counts that you do. And if you’ve been a good person all your life, it doesn’t matter what religion you belong to. The holy books are meant to create good people.

The Upper Class

Describing people is just about the hardest thing you could you. Smart, funny, kind… In comparison to who? In high school biology, if u did it, you’d remember that the definition of ‘tall’ is determined by the environment of the people in question. For example, what’s regarded tall in China could be regarded short in Jamaica (where most of the strongest slaves went). So, with that, how are you so sure that the definition of your personality is really true?
The one characteristic I question a lot is ‘down to earth’ because it really depends on what class of people you’re born into. For some people, down to earth can be given as a characteristic to someone who can sit at an average fast food and have lunch but come on, that’s supposed to be normal. For others, its speaking a local language or mingling with people of a lower class or even eating certain foods.
I personally have a problem with people who’ve grown up in Zambia but claim to have no idea of how to speak any local language. Now, I don’t expect anyone to know all seventy two or even be a pro at over two. I only know three. Nyanja cause I grew up with it, Nsenga because my mother speaks it and Ngoni because my father and granny speak it. Bemba, I can understand but prefer not to attempt speaking LOL. We all know Nyanja speakers usually suck at Bemba and vice versa. I also have a problem with people who choose to eat nshima with cutlery (unless its really soft). Judgemental, I know but everyone is entitled to an opinion.
I won’t lie, I’m really really uncomfortable when there’s a lot of kaponyas around me. Kinda makes me clutch someone’s hand tighter. It doesn’t make me a snob, I think. I could probably manage to hang with one alone and try to have a conversation. Its not like I view them as less of a human. I’d feel uncomfortable with rich people too, you know. No matter how easy some people would try to make it for you (and that’s only if you’re lucky), there’s always the little things that will slip out and make you feel like you’re lacking something. The same way poor people would make you feel ungrateful, if you have a heart. To some people, I’m rich and to some people, I’m poor. To some people, talking to someone like me is defined as being down to earth and to me, its normal really.
Some of us like to pretend we’ve never been hit, pretend we don’t know any local language, pretend we don’t do chores, pretend we can’t cook or clean or make a bed, pretend all our clothes are labelled, hmmmm… Although some girls think this makes them classier than the rest or better even, all it makes you look is dumb. I mean, who can’t make a bed?? And yes, you’ll defend yourselves and say its the twenty first century but no matter what century it is, I think a female should still be able to cook and clean. So what if you have a job?? A pretty face can take you far, I admit, but it won’t keep a husband for you.
Maybe I’m old fashioned, or maybe I’m too young for my opinion to matter but one day, when the man you marry doesn’t show up for meals cause he’s found a woman who can actually cook, you’ll look back on your ‘class’ and see just what its gotten you. So keep bragging about how much your manicure cost… I see your dark knees, girl.