A Divine Weakness

In my opinion, my biggest ‘flaw’ is kindness. Helping people, caring, listening… It lands me in a whole load of trouble but no matter what happens, I still look at is as a strength when many others view it as a weakness. I like to think I’m polite to strangers (random guys giving sex eyes don’t count), I’m really polite to peoples’ parents, especially my friends’ parents and I’m polite to people working, no matter how low the class of their jobs.
I’m polite to strangers because I don’t know what use they could be to me. You know, there are millions of people out there who know things you don’t and have skills that you don’t. No man is an island. There is so much you can do by yourself but there are better ways of doing those things. Ways that you would only find out if you took the time to interact. I mean, would it really hurt you to respond to a greeting? Its not a marriage proposal or a request to start a family with you. Its a greeting. And if you can respond, why not? Respect is underrated.
Peoples’ parents, I doubt I have to explain this. I could never ever look at someone the same if they disrespected my parents or talked to them however they pleased. Usually, when I travel alone, I pick an old lady to sit with or talk to. Why? Because I wonder what its like for my mother when she travels alone. Who sits with her to talk? The thought that nobody does really hurts. I actually think using my parents to win me over is cheating cause it always works. No matter how much you hate someone or how uninterested in them you are, you MUST respect peoples’ parents.
Lastly, working people. If for example, you woke up today and had no choice but to work in a restaurant, how happy would it make you to be snapped at constantly? Come on, share your joy. I mean, so what if their jobs earn them less per month than your allowance per week? It doesn’t mean that you can talk to them however you want to or yell at them for their efforts. It doesn’t make you the better person. It makes you very foolish and shallow. If I were a waitress, I’d probably spend my day insulting customers back and be unemployed by lunch because I have a low tolerance level and people can be really rude. For someone to stand around and take orders from people with bad breath, bad attitudes, badly behaved kids, bad body odour all day with a smile on their faces while still treating them with RESPECT… They must be really strong.
Being kind to people and respecting people doesn’t make you stupid or dull. Being rude on the other hand, makes your life so much more complicated. It halts a lot of processes. You’ll find yourself always single, always changing friends, always finding faults in others… Always so negative. The fact that you have nothing positive really to add to another’s life makes it that much easier to cut you off or forget about you. Besides, negativity always bounces back to you. You end up the ugly one in the end. The fact that people don’t mention your flaws doesn’t mean you don’t have flaws. It means that they are the bigger men, refusing to stoop to such a level.


Fixing Yourself…?

If there is one thing we so often forget, its that we were built differently. We’ve looked different from the time we were younger, no matter how similar our diets or social circles are. When I was younger, I would stare at faces and wonder why we all had noses and lips and eyes but we didn’t look the same. And being a kid, I asked some girl why we didn’t look the same and she said to me, “your nose is bigger than mine.”
That, I remember clearly was the first time I ever hated a part of my body. And then, people began pointing out a lot of other things. I hated smiling wide cause I had a gap and then I just stopped cause of my rotten teeth, I never ate with people cause I was the fat one… Then I thought my nails were ugly. Then it was the colour of my hair, and then came acne. It was all a never ending process of fault-finding in myself.
I permed my hair, lost weight, painted my fingernails and toe nails all the time and everybody seemed pleased with my looks. Everybody but me. Although my new image made me feel accepted in its own way, it wasn’t what I was comfortable with. I was used to being big and having big hair… My nose? That was never going to change. Then, I decided to hang with guys. Cause I figured, I’m supposed to be physically different from them. It shouldn’t bug me that I’m not like them, right? LOL. Didn’t work out exactly the way I planned but I certainly loved myself a lot more than I did before.
Everybody around me was small. You know, flat tummies, tiny waists and it made me look at them and wonder why I had the body I did. Today, I weigh 70 Kilos. Which is fat by most peoples’ standards, but its what I’m comfortable with. Its what I know. I still have the big nose, and its an insecurity I’m more than glad faded away. I mean, it is on my face! Lol. I have a smile all the time despite my gap. You know, they say the most beautiful women in Africa have gaps between their top front teeth. I love my hands and feet and maybe they look better now because I treat them better. Well, now I do what I like to do. I don’t watch what I eat and I don’t count calories. I don’t look in the mirror and wish for things that aren’t there.
We forget that we are built differently. We can’t all have the exact physical abilities and we can’t all look the same. What will make us special then? Who will stand out? I have my own talents, and I’m happy with them. Trying to fix yourself to suit peoples’ tastes only makes you like yourself less. Don’t look into the next yard to compare your stomach or muscular legs or any physical attributes. Love what you have, work with what you have but most of all, be kind to your body.