Lemme start off by saying I am a very lucky child. I’ve never lost a sibling or a best friend or a parent. We’re still intact. I’ve never had a grandfather but I had two grandmothers who made me a very happy child. Down to one grandparent.
Some people say death hurts most when its sudden or when you grow apart from someone you were always so close to. In September of 2008, my mum lost her brother. Very sudden, no prior illness… And it hurt. It still does. My last call to him was to ask for credit, as usual and when I heard he was gone, I really wished my last words weren’t, “please send me talk time.” Had I ever thought to remind him how much I loved him? No.
Others say death hurts most when you can see it coming. When someone is ill, you watch them suffer. You pity them and all but you have hope. Why? Because you’re used to seeing people get better. The words ‘get well soon’ aren’t exactly heartfelt anymore. They are words we say to be polite. We don’t really care that someone has been throwing up. Hell, you’ll think she’s just pregnant. I don’t think we take health quite as seriously as we should. Watching someone slip away slowly makes you feel helpless. You’re tired of seeing them suffer but you don’t want to lose them either.
I can name a few of my friends who say they aren’t scared of death. How do they know they aren’t scared? Not like they’ve ever died. The thing with people is, we ignore random twitches and pains inside our lower backs, thinking nothing could possibly happen. Life is tooo too fragile. People only seem care about you when you die. Put you as a profile picture, put up a status about what a great friend you were, buy you your favourite flowers and cry for you. Have you put your friend as your pic just cause you’re proud of them? Have you told your friends they are great? Have you bought them flowers they can at least smell? Probably not.
One death. Only one death has ever touched me in my life. It still touches me to date. And everytime I hear that nsenga song, ‘alilele’ by Balad Zulu, the chorus goes, ‘alilele, so’labila, nivinyinji vu nufuna ku’a uzha’ which translates to, ‘he is asleep, he doesn’t talk, but there’s so much I want to say to him’, it takes me back to the one life I didn’t appreciate as much as I should have. Wouldn’t hurt, you know? To show love. By the way, I love roses 😛
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