The Fairer Sex…

Being female, I admit that we are complicated. We dunno what to do to our hair, can’t make an outfit out of a million different items of clothing and can’t decide what colour we want our nails painted either. Its easier to live as a female if you just accept that you are complicated.
My ratio of female friends to male friends is 50:50. Exactly. I read a blog post this morning dogging on the girls who prefer the company of guys to other girls. Honestly, its not just girls who prefer the company of the opposite sex. Its both. Sometimes, a guy wants to be around people that actually listen and not have stupid things to say and sometimes, a girl doesn’t want advice from a girl who might like the guy she’s complaining about.
I’m dating my best friend. Not that I owe anyone an explanation as to why but its not because we never had sex lives, not because we needed financial support, not because we lack self-control… Because we WANT to! People assume its a ‘marriage of convenience’ but its really not. As for self control, nobody I know can pride themselves on self-control as much as we can. We shared a bed countless times, were room mates for over a month, gotten wasted together… There have been so many opportunities for us to take advantage of each other but we never did. We had always lived in the same house or really close to each other and still… We fell for each other recently. When we are apart and had other things going for us in our own lives.
Having many male friends in no way makes me a cheat or loose or likely to sleep with them. It makes me a little more aware of guys’ characters… The guys who paint themselves with pity and romance to mask their inner assholes, the ones who act like there’s no one else when he makes every other girl feel that way, the ones who judge the little things u do and ignore the mansion of bullshit they’ve built, the ones who are on such a high horse pretending to see past just looks… The nicest guys are the ones we think are assholes actually…
I don’t think girls are bitches or I’m a guy in a girl’s body. I’m pretty girly but the girls I’ve given a chance have screwed me over so! I have Abby, Nsama and Yvonne for female best friends, and Maluba, Chimy (yes, he’s still my boyfriend) and Musandu for male best friends. I don’t mind people thinking me being around guys makes me a whore… I know why I’m always around them. Besides, I have never met females that top my three girls… 🙂

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Celebrating life.

Lemme start off by saying I am a very lucky child. I’ve never lost a sibling or a best friend or a parent. We’re still intact. I’ve never had a grandfather but I had two grandmothers who made me a very happy child. Down to one grandparent.
Some people say death hurts most when its sudden or when you grow apart from someone you were always so close to. In September of 2008, my mum lost her brother. Very sudden, no prior illness… And it hurt. It still does. My last call to him was to ask for credit, as usual and when I heard he was gone, I really wished my last words weren’t, “please send me talk time.” Had I ever thought to remind him how much I loved him? No.
Others say death hurts most when you can see it coming. When someone is ill, you watch them suffer. You pity them and all but you have hope. Why? Because you’re used to seeing people get better. The words ‘get well soon’ aren’t exactly heartfelt anymore. They are words we say to be polite. We don’t really care that someone has been throwing up. Hell, you’ll think she’s just pregnant. I don’t think we take health quite as seriously as we should. Watching someone slip away slowly makes you feel helpless. You’re tired of seeing them suffer but you don’t want to lose them either.
I can name a few of my friends who say they aren’t scared of death. How do they know they aren’t scared? Not like they’ve ever died. The thing with people is, we ignore random twitches and pains inside our lower backs, thinking nothing could possibly happen. Life is tooo too fragile. People only seem care about you when you die. Put you as a profile picture, put up a status about what a great friend you were, buy you your favourite flowers and cry for you. Have you put your friend as your pic just cause you’re proud of them? Have you told your friends they are great? Have you bought them flowers they can at least smell? Probably not.
One death. Only one death has ever touched me in my life. It still touches me to date. And everytime I hear that nsenga song, ‘alilele’ by Balad Zulu, the chorus goes, ‘alilele, so’labila, nivinyinji vu nufuna ku’a uzha’ which translates to, ‘he is asleep, he doesn’t talk, but there’s so much I want to say to him’, it takes me back to the one life I didn’t appreciate as much as I should have. Wouldn’t hurt, you know? To show love. By the way, I love roses 😛

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